I wanted to share something that has been impacting me deeply as of late. Recently when I was praying (and feeling broken), I heard the passage from Isaiah 53:
“But the Lord was pleased
To crush Him, putting Him to grief;
If He would render Himself as a guilt offering,
He will see His offspring,
He will prolong His days,
And the good pleasure of the Lord will prosper in His hand.”
This is one of the most potent scriptures concerning Christ, but it is also a profound window into the nature of God. “The Lord was pleased to crush Him…”. In the moment I heard this verse, the Lord was communicating something of His nature to my heart. It’s not a very popular aspect of God in our humanistic, self-seeking, pain-avoiding culture – but there are times when God does deliberately wound us, crushing us, so that a pleasing fragrance may arise – so that He can make something beautiful from the ashes, if we’re willing.
Ever since then, that revelation has been resting on my mind and heart. Last night, I had a dream in which young leaders in the body of Christ were opposing the assignment of God on my life in a very deliberate and hurtful way, because I didn’t fit their mould. I woke up feeling pain, and there were many responses that arose in my heart. In the midst of it, I first heard the Lord say something personal to me. But then, I heard Him say something that I believe is for the body of Christ as a whole:
“Some wounds are wounds you carry your whole life long.” When I heard this, I thought of Jacob – how he wrestled with God and had a limp for the rest of his life as a result. I thought of Paul, and the thorn in his flesh that God would not take. I thought of how the scars are still in Christ’s hands. Then I heard the Lord say, “There are two ways to carry wounds. The first is called ‘bitterness’. The second is called ‘meekness.'” Furthermore, I felt the strong impression that the primary indicator of which way we are carrying our wounds is in how we respond to people around us – particularly when they hurt us, or touch against our wound(s). Do we respond in bitterness and “justified” anger? Or does the fragrance of meekness come out?
This impacted my heart so deeply, and I’m still processing it. Like many others, the Lord has been pleased to crush me, and there are still wounds I carry. Will they produce meekness, or will I allow them to become a deep-rooted bitterness? I think that’s a question many of us need to be asking ourselves.