Men. Throughout history, men have traditional occupied the “dominant” role in society. And, I think it’s safe to say, we’ve botched it pretty bad. Creation has paid and continues the price for our lack of submission to God, as we’ve failed to rescind our subjection to the kingdom of darkness on so many levels and in so many ways. This has led to countless atrocities – not least among them the way women have been abused, scorned, objectified, and misused. Where does humanity go from here? More importantly, where do we as the body of Christ lead humanity from here?
If we’re to believe what the world has to say, the solution is simple: deconstruct the roles that have traditionally separated the sexes, tear down the distinctions that have long comprised the nuclear family, dismantle any and every concept or lingering notion of man having authority over woman – and, depending on who you listen to – dole out to men some of the belittlement that women have endured, just for good measure. Perhaps, we should even flip things around – maybe men should be subject to women in society for a while – maybe that would correct the problem.
Well, the real problem is this. The fall – yes, the one in the garden. Most Christians would probably agree with that. But, do we all agree as to what that really means? What it changed – and what it means for us today? Maybe not. I think many get the idea that there WERE no important distinctions between man and woman (or their roles) before the fall. There was no headship – not other than God. The whole idea of woman submitting to man is just the fruit of that awful curse. Right? Or wrong?
Just about every Christian knows the story of Genesis. A sequence of six time-periods in which God “made” (followed by a seventh in which he rested), the culmination of His creative work being man and woman. Unlike all other living things, mankind was made in the image of God. Made to reflect Him – His nature, His attributes, and His dominion. This “bearing out” of God’s image was incomplete while man was singular. As we know, God is trinitarian in nature, existing throughout all eternity in multiple persons – each fully God, yet each bearing out His nature through a distinct role. Not only is God’s intrinsic passion for partnership reflected in His trinitarian nature, but also in His creation of mankind, and His redemption and sanctification of a “bride” – a chosen people with whom to partner, made pure and holy by the work of the cross. Because of these facets of God’s person, it was not good for man to be alone. And so, from Adam’s side, God brought forth woman – the most beautiful of His earthly creatures – to bring to a greater degree of fullness our reflection of the divine nature.
In each sex, God’s various attributes shine forth uniquely. Hopefully we all agree at least in this – that the differences in how God’s attributes are mirrored by man and woman are not, in fact, due to the fall – but are inherent to God’s eternal wisdom and creative work. I’d love to write about some of these distinctions, many of which were once considered obvious, but are now being called into question. That’s not my purpose in writing this, though. For now, I’ll continue on the assumption that most Bible-believing Christians consider God’s distinct workmanship in forming man and woman (both inwardly and outwardly) to be self-evident. Without one another, we form a less complete expression of God’s nature.
Furthermore, I believe there is another aspect to how we reflected God together as man and woman which pre-dates the fall. It’s called headship. Now, headship is an idea that does not really exist in culture. Without God, humanity really only understands dominion and control, not headship. Why? Because the concept of headship only exists, and can only be seen, in God Himself. There is no other example of it in all creation. We, as man and woman, were supposed to be that example – and we’ve failed miserably. Headship is just this – it’s the idea in which two parties of equal value and dignity willingly place themselves in a relational structure – in which one bears the responsibility of leading, and the other of helping to carry out. It is how God relates to Himself. As I mentioned previously, God exists in three persons – the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The Son submits Himself willingly to the headship of the Father. Likewise, the Spirit submits Himself to the headship of the Son. This relational order is intrinsic to who God is.
From the beginning, headship was the role designated for man. Man was created first, and woman followed as a “helper suitable for him.” This was a beautiful picture, and as with everything God created, He was pleased with it. However, something happened. Man fell. The sin nature was born. Selfish desire. Control. Dominance. Ironically, man’s very act of following his wife in eating the fruit was in fact an abnegation of His God-given assignment to lovingly lead the woman. God’s first word in His pronouncement to Adam following the fall? “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife…” Adam listened and followed when He should have lovingly led.
The fruit of the curse was a constant war in which our sin nature attacks and undermines headship (along with every other facet of God’s nature that we are meant to reflect). God said to the woman, “Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” Some mistakenly believe that this is where man’s role as the head in marriage comes from. Far from it! How can the reflection of God’s nature be a curse? No, this is the pronouncement of the way in which headship was marred by the curse. The word “desire” used here in regards to the woman actually signifies a desire to control and gain the mastery. It’s the same word used in the Bible for the desire sin has for us. I believe, therefore, than a woman’s desire to exercise authority over man (in particular, her husband) is born of sin and the curse. In the same way, man’s abusive and authoritarian rule and selfish misuse of woman was also born of the same – as human history bears witness to this day.
There is also a hidden promise in the verse above, though, just as with the verse that precedes it (regarding the serpent and the seed). The verse about desire and rule points to a future promise: that Christ shall rule over His bride – not in the domineering way that fallen men may seek to, but in the truest and most faithful way. And, our desire shall be for Him – not the controlling type of desire – but in the selfless and honorable way. Furthermore, God will cause this promise to be reflected in the way God-fearing men and women (especially husbands and wives) relate, if we are willing.
So, now we come to it. Sin has marred headship nearly beyond recognition. But, Christ died and rose again to redeem us from the curse. Therefore, we as the body of Christ should neither be abusing nor undermining headship – but sanctifying it! With the help of the Holy Spirit, putting to death our warring sin nature, and affirming and reflecting God’s nature in the way we carry out both the nuclear family (starting with marriage), and the family of God (the church).